I didn’t know that you didn’t know what you did last summer.
I have to let this out. Because you refuse to talk to me in person and you prefer talking to me indirectly through blogs social media etc. The last time I indirectly ranted about you was a year ago, and I must say, I HAVE MY REASONS. But right now, you do not have one to even tell me that I caused all of these, because first of all, it was your fault. It would have been better if you talked to me and came clean; instead, you kept on telling people you were innocent.
Did you realise the trauma you’ve caused me that time? THAT TIME I HAD NO ONE. And I was expecting you to BE THERE. I was at the hospital, and I was crying on you about how I was so torn that time–and you chose to take advantage of the situation. To what? To betray me, to tell everyone how pathetic I was? And why would you say that I was a gold-digging-flingy-girl when YOU of all people knew how much backstabs and hurt I get from exes and ex friends? YOU of all people knew EVERY SINGLE THING about me. And now you tell me that I bully you? I??? Why, what did I ever do to you that was so wrong? Did you even had the heart to hear my explanations? Yes, I’ve had mistakes from the past; but at least I reached out. I apologised profusely for what I’ve done, even if I knew that my intentions were innocent.
I waited for you. I told myself that I shouldn’t give up to people I love. Because I LOVED you. So much. Each and every one of you (your classmates I mean). I preferred being with you guys than my own clan of class peers. I helped you even more than the latter. I was there; when you had problems, when you had success, and you weren’t there until the end. But what did you say? “Walang iwanan… Di ka namin iiwan!” But on the contrary, it was you who walked away. It was you who was talking shit behind my back (I have the screen caps if you need proof).
I had to let this all out. They keep on coming back as nightmares. I told you that I’d be willing to talk–but I guess, it’s not a mature nature from you. SO here is one “immature” way of expressing how damaged I was when YOU, not I, neglected ME.
I’ve forgiven you ages ago; you just didn’t want to talk things out. Were we even friends in your perspective, or was I just someone you laughed about?
And I doubt you would see this anyway.
The Girl Who Smiled Way, Way, Way, Way, WAAAAAAY more than you did