My Feelings in Another Language Right Now (from my fave local band)

Ayan na naman di ka ba
Nagsasawang paiyakin ang damdamin ko
Nagtatampo na tuloy ako sa iyo
Alam mo naman na kahit na ilang beses mo na
Akong nasasaktan
Di ko maisip na ika’y iwanan

May itatanong ako
Sabihin ang totoo
Mahal mo ba talaga ako
Hay nako
Pag ibig nga naman minsa’y talagang napakagulo
Hindi mo malaman kung paano nga ba sumuko
Hay nako
Baka mapagod na ang aking pusong umibig sayo
Hay nako…

Wala naman akong ibang magawa
KUNG DI INTINDIHIN
Ang mga pangako mong palpak pa rin
Kaya’t wag mo na sana pang
Ulit ulitin to baka magalit na ako
Konti na lang malapit ka ng buminggo

Mag-isip isip ka na ngayon
Kung nais mo talaga akong magtagal sa piling mo
Hay nako
Pag ibig nga naman minsa’y talagang napakagulo
Di mo malaman kung paano nga ba sumuko
Hay nako
Baka mapagod na ang aking pusong umibig sayo
Hay nako…

May itatanong ako
Sabihin ng totoo
Mahal mo ba talaga ako
Mahal mo ba talaga ako…

Hay nako
Pag ibig nga naman minsa’y talagang napakagulo
Di mo malaman kung paano nga ba sumuko
Hay nako
Baka mapagod na ang aking pusong umibig sayo
Umibig sayo
Hay nako…
Hay…

(c) The song “Hay Naku” by Silent Sanctuary

this song’s exactly what I feel right now. Not only do I feel this MOST of the time with someone, but also with most friends and most family members. It means that I’ve given love more than anyone else could for the people I love, but also because someday I’ll also have a halt. My heart gets tired too, once it gets used to too much pain.

My friend Kim and I were together yesterday as we were waiting for both our beaus and it was already 6, past both our curfews. Kim was sobbing to me and said, “What, so we have to wait for them all the time? Will there ever be a time that we would be prioritized by them? Our efforts will be wasted.” I tried reasoning with her that if we really love our beaus, we would understand their priorities as well as they are doing something for academic and co-curricular activities. I advised her to be used to it, but she refused and said, “Oh, I don’t get used to it. I get tired; my heart also gets tired.”

That rang a bell. Of course it’s true…

Hearts can get tired.

But my heart never got tired no matter how much times it got ripped and broken. But… what if… what if at one point in the future, it gives up and gets tired?

I hope it never gets to that point ever. For now, I’m trying to understand why I have to be second best to people I love right now, as I was never first priority. Yes. I seriously understand. But I hope there will be a time that I won’t have to ask for anyone’s time ever again.

Yung ako naman yung hihintayin. (A time where I’ll be waited.)

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