The Last Straw

I had a third degree burn, bruises (again) all over my body, and my hair started to fall out because my mom hasn’t stop yet from being the modern Hitler.

Honestly. I didn’t do anything wrong besides saying how I feel about how she treats me. I don’t know why most people want to be right all the time even if they’re not. And sometimes I just don’t want to be with her anymore because she doesn’t treat me like her daughter anymore; she treats me like a dog she’s slaughtering or whatsoever. My neighbors can here my screams and pleas of help but not one came for me. The “friends” I thought I had turned out to be backstabs. All I can do is endure all the pain that I experience in that house. But last night was the last straw.

She came inside with eyes like slits when she cast me looks of hatred. I preferred to look down and just let it go. When we were about to sleep, she came to where I lay down and next thing I knew I was drenched in boiling water. I didn’t know where that came from. Next she was pulling my hair again and forced me to kiss her feet. I didn’t know what else to do so I let her do these things to me. But right after that episode I clutched my phone and texted one relative who I hope would get me out of that misery; my aunt from my father’s side. She was kind and all, really the opposite of how my mom’s like. Unfortunately she can’t be my savior since the house she had before had been sold to a family friend (who I am not really close with) and she lives in with her boyfriend. Technically, I can’t live there.

So I came up with a plan B. I can search for a cheap place to live in and get a part time job in order to be able to pay the rent. That won’t be easy since most fastfood places prefer 18 and above applicants and I am still 17. I asked my aunt some help and she said I could send my resume through email and we’d figure things out. Then my high school teacher in Christian Living told me that she rents a bedspace that only costs P1800. That would be the cheapest dorm here in Manila since the previous dorm I was into cost P3500. Now the only problem is when and how would I get the guts to leave my mom (which is also difficult). I love her, really I do. But if I stay one more year with her I would probably be dead or worse. Idk if what she’s doing to me has anything to do with psychological disorder or something that would be fun to her. She liked torturing other people which didn’t spare her own daughter.

And if I left her that would mean I would also leave my brother. My brother could also be beaten up to death if he grew up. Idk, I don’t want that.

God, I know you have a higher plan, but this misery is getting out of hand. 😦