I WANT TO END THIS STUPID LIFE

I NEED A BREAK FROM REALITY

there was this one point where college increased my excitement. Especially last summer, my expectations for the future classes that I will be having were heightened with extreme excitement.

BUT EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THEY LOST FAITH IN ME

the people I care about in the world

PS This is not a hate post about ppl and I’m not saying or generalizing it but yeahhh for my life, the following ppl suck atm

FUCK BACKSTABBERS
-yeah! To those who stabs me in the back especially to the elementary acquaintance who happens to be in my class this year, IDK WHY YOU HAVE TO EXIST but please do not treat other people like what you did to me. Thankfully I am not engaged to the action-packed hair pulling in the class because I’m not that kind of girl. But if I lost it, REALLY REALLY LOST IT, I’ll get to you somehow.
THAT PERSON HAPPENS TO HAVE A LARGE GROUP WHERE THEY CALL THEMSELVES “Friendsies” (ugh right) and yeah they sort of give me glances and idk what else (maybe curse me even) AND SHE JUST MAKES MADE UP STORIES ABOUT ME TO THEM EVER SINCE THE FIRST DAY AND ksjdskldlajdldjlfksdl;ksl I’m just so mad, guys. I’m sorry. So beware of backstabs. I’m not saying everyone you knew since you were a kid were like this, but just be cautious

FUCK THE INCOMPETENT TEACHERS
-here’s to all the students who lack really, really good teachers. I mean, come on! It’s a profession that is supposed to be nourished etc etc. One of our professors (fine, he’s teaching Philosophy) went to class 5 weeks after the actual start of the semester. Philosophy is actually one of my most anticipated subjects in college, and this is what he’ll do to me??? To us, his students? AND mind you, he is even lazy to even teach the subject. He would give us the handouts, assign us a book that lacks information and goes out of the classroom. It’s not exactly my ideal study habit. WHY CAN’T THEY ASSIGN US BETTER TEACHERS?

MY FAMILY BELITTLES MY CONFIDENCE (OR ME, IN PARTICULAR)
-When I was a child they used to have the full support my parents SHOULD be giving up until now BUT WHAT HAPPENED. My dad died and I don’t even know if he hates me or not (he and my mom separated and I only got to see him again two years after, which, is when he died). MY MOM HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH A STEPDAD WHO DOESN’T EVEN CARE ABOUT MY LIFE, HER LIFE, OUR LIFE. HE ONLY CARES ABOUT HIMSELF AND THE PLEASURES HE HAVE (which isn’t even his; his family owned everything he has because he doesn’t want to earn a living). Oh, and my mom doesn’t care about anything but my step brother. What is more, she regarded me as the DAUGHTER SHE NEVER WANTED TO HAVE.
Dear parents, did you ever want me as a child?

THESE ARE THE THINGS DEMOTIVATING ME FROM STUDYING. THESE THINGS STRESS ME OUT OF MY HEAD AND I’M FREAKING OUT. Omg whoever reads this, please don’t hate me. I just want to rant. 😦

Despite these facts though, life goes on, and so must I.

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